Bun-less Burgers

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written. I went to a conference in Long Beach, CA this past week and finally feel like I’ve recovered. Since we were staying at a hotel a little distance away from the conference center we did a lot of walking. I averaged about 17,000 steps a day, a three times my normal 5,000 a day.

Being in a new city and at a conference with colleagues means a lot of eating out. Lunches, dinners, and drinks together. Well I have celiac disease (I eat gluten free) which can get tricky when you are always eating out. Thankfully there is a lot more awareness of gluten now and most restaurants can accommodate a gluten free diet. There are still countless issues and points I could raise but the one I want to focus on is bun-less burgers.

My issues is the lack of logic used when creating a bun-less burger for someone. My experiences range from fast food like McDonald’s to sit down places like Island’s Burgers, and almost all of these experiences have been frustrating.

There are basically two options when presenting someone with a bun-less burger:

1. A patty with toppings on top/bottom/side

 2. A patty on/under/wrapped in lettuce and toppings on top/bottom/side

Both of these are acceptable options, when done correctly. Here are the issues I have encountered with each of these options.

When presented with option 1, simply a patty with toppings, logic seems to leave the picture completely. While your burger might normally be made with a piece of cheese on bottom and on top of the burger, placing a piece of cheese between the burger and the plate is a bad idea. This is even worse when getting fast food and the cheese is placed directly on a piece of paper or cardboard. In case you aren’t understanding why the cheese on the bottom is so bad, I will explain. That piece of cheese is warmed up by the hot patty, then it melts, melted cheese sticks to things. I then have to spend the majority of the time pulling paper off of my burger.

When presented with option 2, a patty wrapped in or placed on lettuce, logic is also frequently lacking. While placing the bun on a piece of lettuce might look pretty, it serves almost no purpose, if you try to cut the burger with a knife and eat it with the fork, it is an impossible feat to get the lettuce on the fork as well. The lettuce just soaks up the grease from the burger making it soggy and even harder to eat.  You might try to overcome this by placing the piece of lettuce on top of the bun. You do get rid of the problem of never being able to eat lettuce with your burger, but you now can’t see the burger and have to blindly attack the burger hoping that under that piece of lettuce there are a few toppings and if your lucky, even some burger.  The best option here in my opinion is to wrap the burger in lettuce. The wrap allows the person to actually pick up their burger like everyone else around them gets to, and helps take care of the problem with toppings (I am coming to that next). However, please, please! do not go crazy on the amount of lettuce here. My mouth is only so big, lettuce does not compact the way that bread does. My mouth literally has to be able to fit around the whole thing, or I end up making a bigger mess then a toddler.

Oh, toppings. Toppings are another issue, but they relate to my last point about not making the lettuce wrap too big, too many toppings also make the burger too big. Toppings can be great, and can really enhance a burger, but unless your burger is wrapped in lettuce, they are mostly likely going to slide right off that burger. HERE is where melted cheese is the solution! If you place the cheese on top of the burger, then the toppings on the cheese, it helps them stay on, and avoids the sticky mess of cheese on a plate. Also it is best to leave the ketchup/mayo/mustard/sauce on the side. I love when I still have the option of dipping my bun-less burger in some toppings, but have been extremely frustrated when ketchup is dripping all down my hands.

As you might have realized, a bun-less burger isn’t the easiest thing to get at a restaurant, and can easily turn into a frustration. It doesn’t mean simply cranking out the same burger but omitting the bread. It takes some logic, it takes some rearranging, but it CAN be done well. My advice is to take a second, before you start slapping everything on a plate, and think “if I was eating this without a bun, how would I prefer it”. Please remember that most of us aren’t eating this way by choice, we aren’t trying to make things harder for you, we are simply trying to make the best of a difficult situation for us.

My favorite option is a lettuce wrap, not too thick, with cheese and grilled onions inside, if that’s not a good option, then simply a burger on a plate (with the cheese on top!) and toppings on the side is a great option. Now if only I could get all the restaurants to read this!